Sticks and Stones

  Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.  That is probably one of the most nonsensical and potentially damaging sayings that we bring with us from childhood.  To adopt this as a personal credo means that you dismiss the most pernicious abuse of all.

  Maybe words don’t break bones or draw blood, but what they DO is lay in the psyche and fester.  Broken bones and other physical injuries will heal.  Words never go away.  Being hit with words is like being injected with slow-acting poison with no antidote.

  As much fun as “brain bleach” is on the internet, there is no such thing in real life.  Once said, nothing can be unsaid.  You cannot un-ring a bell.  Words once heard will play in the mind of the recipient in an endless loop forever.

  I’m Sorry is not an effective bandage.  The words have still been said.  All that has changed is that people know you’re sorry that you said them now.  After the fact.  After facing consequences.

  Words have power.  The pen is mightier than the sword, and the spoken word is more powerful than that.  If you defend someone who thinks nothing of taking their rage out on someone else by demeaning them or manipulates with the threat of “making me mad”, then you are every bit as much as abuser as they.  You are helping them inject that poison.  If you question or try to silence the victim or accuse the victim of manufacturing evidence, you are abetting the abuser.  If you think that saying “I’m sorry” should make everything “all better” and turn your back because you don’t want to see; if you deny that your “friend” would do or say such things, you are not being a friend; you are not loyal.  You are, in fact, hurting the very person you think you are defending.  Encourage them to get help.  Tell them you love them, but using words as weapons is never acceptable.  Words leave wounds that will never heal.