New Medication

I have arthritis.  A few weeks ago, the doctor put me on a very good anti-inflammatory.  An oral anti-inflammatory that actually worked very well.  Other than a few twinges now and then, I had almost no pain.  Trouble was, I didn’t get any refills with that prescription.  So I made an appointment hoping to correct that.  Instead of giving me a refill for the medication that actually worked and was simple to take, he prescribed something else.  The new medication had rules.  Lots of rules. 

Take 1 capsule 2-3 times per day.  May cause drowsiness.  Alcohol may intensify this effect.  Use care when operating dangerous machines.  Take with food.  Do not eat dairy products.  Do not lie down for 1/2 hour after taking medication.  Do not feed after midnight.  Never get it wet.  Your mileage may vary.  Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate.  Void where prohibited.  No stopping, standing, or parking.  Keep left.  No part of this medication may be reproduced without the permission of Major League Baseball.  Do not taunt the Happy Fun Ball.  If you live in a glass house, dress in the basement.  Objects in the medication are closer than they appear.  Taking this medication and wearing a cape does not enable patient to fly.  Genuine placebos.  If your pain lasts more than 4 hours, call your doctor. 

Not only does it have a lot of rules — it doesn’t work.  At all.  So hopefully I can get this straightened out and just get a refill on the other stuff.  That actually works.  Like I wanted in the first place.