Civilization, Manners, and Other Things We Forgot

  This post is going to make me sound old.  So be it.  Something has happened just over the last few years.  I’m not sure whether it is related by cause and effect to the deep political divide in this country, but it seriously has not helped and has definitely widened the rift. 

  First, we are overly familiar in this country.  It irks me when people I’ve never met in person call me by my first name.  Even worse is when they shorten my name.  Nicknames are affectionate and intimate.  If I don’t know you, I feel violated.  Sarah Palin used this to look “folksy” at the vice presidential debate.  “Can I call ya Joe?”  It made her look lazy and unprofessional.  “Folksy” is not something that should have a place in politics.  “Folksy” and the press agents and marketers who have convinced America that this is somehow acceptable brought us eight years of a President who was elected because he was “someone people wanted to have a beer with”.  Somehow, professionalism has become about as valued as education.

  Someone said that “Profanity is the crutch of the inarticulate bastards”.   Although meant ironically, there is some truth to this.  Sometimes there just are no words that are not profanity.  The problem is, most people don’t know when that is, or just don’t care.  There really are no “bad words”.  George Carlin was right about that.  But there are bad intentions, even if you may not be aware of them.  A use of profanity is usually interpreted as a lack of class, education, or just disrespect for your listeners.  Even if you don’t respect the subject matter, you should care about your audience.  This is a part of being “politically correct” that no one seems to grasp.  There are certain words we would not dream of using because they would offend people’s religion, race, sex, or orientation, but we don’t think about other words that hurt.  In fact, we look down on those who are offended by profanity.  We tell them “it’s only a word — grow up”.  And this is the rush to intimacy again.  Like the over-familiarity, we use whatever words we want to.  “They can take me as I am!”  We do not have the courtesy to get to know someone and their sensibilities.  We act and speak selfishly.  Who knows what opportunities we may miss because we were “foul-mouthed” or “wrote that filthy thing”?

  This “so what?” attitude also extends to behavior.  Like it or not, society judges credibility by language and behavior.  Language and the use of it are how we know how educated someone is.  Behavior is how we judge a person’s respect for others.  A politician who does not bother to find out whether the woman he’s pursuing is of legal age and does not care apparently has no respect for the law.  “But he didn’t break any laws!”  Maybe not.  But he didn’t know that and he didn’t care. 

   In 1993, Peter Steiner published a cartoon in the New Yorker.  Two dogs are sitting at a computer, and one says, “On the Internet, no one knows you’re a dog”.  We have taken this anonymity as license.  We can be as rude as we wanna be.  Use whatever words we want.  Courtesy, professionalism, respect are no longer required. 

  I don’t know about you, but I’m going to use them anyway.  So I will now very courteously, professionally and respectfully tell you kids to get off my lawn.